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Her Murderer

Her Murderer

Author : Mary Cholmondeley

Language : English

Category : Short Story

No of Pages : 4 Page(s)

“The truth is, I shall have to murder her!” said Mark gloomily. “I see no way out of it.”

“I could not be really happy with a husband whose hands were red with gore,” I remarked. “I’m super-sensitive, I know. I can’t help it. I was made so. If you murder her, I warn you I shall throw you over. And where would you be then?”

“Exactly where I am now, as far as marrying you is concerned. You may throw me over as much as you like. I shan’t turn a hair.”

He had not many hairs left to turn, and perhaps he remembered that fact, and that I held nothing sacred, for he hurried on in an aggrieved tone:

“You never give me credit for any imagination. I’m not going to spill her blood. I’m much too tidy. I’ve thought it all out. I shall take you and her on a picnic to the New Forest, and trot you both about till you’re nearly famished. And then for luncheon I shall produce a tin of potted lobster. I shall choose it very carefully with a bulging tin. Potted lobster is deadly when the tin bulges. And as the luncheon will be at my expense, she will eat more than usual. She will ‘partake heartily,’ as the newspapers will say afterwards; at least, as I hope they will have occasion to say. And then directly the meal is over the lobster will begin to do its duty, and swell inside her, and she’ll begin struggling among the picnic things. I shan’t be there. I shall have gone for a little stroll. You will support her in her last moments. I don’t mind helping with the funeral. I’d do that willingly.”

I laughed, but I was near to tears.

“How long have we been engaged?” asked Mark.

“Twelve years. You know that as well as I do.”

“Well, as far as I can see, we shall be still affianced in twenty years’ time. Aunt Pussy will see us all out.”

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  • Saul Bellow

    JUNE 20, 2015

    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.

    Reply
  • Saul Bellow

    JUNE 20, 2015

    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet

    Reply

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Ipsum euismod his at. Eu putent habemus voluptua sit, sit cu rationibus scripserit, modus voluptaria ex per. Aeque dicam consulatu eu his, probatus neglegentur disputationi sit et. Ei nec ludus epicuri petentium, vis appetere maluisset ad. Et hinc exerci utinam cum. Sonet saperet nominavi est at, vel eu sumo tritani. Cum ex minim legere.

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